Excerpt from Last Year’s Eve

“..Hugo cradles the car. It’s Raining outside now. His world is collapsing and he can feel the reality of his situation closing in. He reaches out into the dark - to his brother; Georgi. He is desperate. Clinging.) 

 

You’ve been in my dreams, for the first time in a long time. I haven’t dreamt in a long time. 

But of you. Georgie. That’s your name! That was your name. With your ashen hair and clothes too small for your growing form. We were 4 feet tall. 

Did you ever dream? Georgie? Nightmares though there were plenty.. Did you ever dream of not being small. I did. I used to dream that I was tall. 

I used to dream my beard was worn. 

And now.. I dream of gardening and torn banners. 

It’s been so long since I’ve dreamt of a form but last night I dreamt of you. We were on that hill. We could hear the fireworks, far in the distance. Can you hear? 

gunshots start fading in very slowly. 

As if trying to cling to Georgi, to protect, to pull him back 

Our father used to talk about them. About dreams. He’d say that your dream could set you free. He used to whisper that to us on the nights we couldn’t sleep as we marched through the field. Do you remember? Everyone else was praying but not our father. He’d dream instead. Every single night! I never really understood that. 

 gunshots getting louder - leading georgi away

But that night on the hill, after the fireworks and after the landmines, that was when I had my first dream. Because he couldn’t dream for us, (do it anymore) so I did. I dreamed for us and I dreamed for him. 

Every night I dreamt that we would grow tall. That we would be set free.

distant sounds of muffled gunshots and landmines, screams

If I’m honest that’s all I have left of him. His face and name so distant now. They’re lost in the wind. But that stayed with me. He gave me that. He made me a dreamer, like him.

And it’s been so long since I’ve had a dream. 

But last night Georgi I dreamt of you. 

 The dream builds, until they are in it. Hugo shows Georgi around. Gets on stool ? Puts Georgi on stool. 

 Hugo walks away and comes back 

Desperately

And I want to tell you about it. I want to tell you how tall we were on that hill and I want you to see it! We were so tall we shot up into the sky - so far. So far up from 4 feet tall. We were so tall that through the clouds we could reach the fireworks that sounded so far away. But they weren’t. They were right here. Next to us. I didn’t understand at first, but then I realised. 

sounds and gunshots, distant screams are overtaken by sounds of fireworks

Of course! Don’t you see? They were our dreams Georgie! We were so tall that we could pluck them from the clouds and hold them. In my dream there were so many dreams, waiting for us. We could never run out. 

 And I wanted to tell you. My brother, my Georgi. I wanted you to know.

The dream fades. Hugo is alone again. He shrinks. 

I wish you could see it…”

Excerpt From 20 Minutes for Michelle (short film)

“…MICHELLE (V.O)

16th of February and I'm taking it kind of slow. 

Last night I had a dream, it was you and I, we were under this tree in the middle of a field. It had died long ago, but here it was still standing. Gone but still there. It's brittle branches outstretched, calling out to the sky. And then. Then we were at the movies. That cinema you used to work at. I know you hated it, but in the dream it was funny.

You remember that claw machine in the foyer? Such a scam. But not in the dream. You actually won! This cheap little toy. And Ryan you should've seen how you smiled when you held that toy. Like a kid you were. And it made me think. Do you want to go to the movies? We should do it. Some time. We should go to the movies and see if they still have those toys like they used to. See if the sprite still tastes like it used to. Fuck what I wouldn't give for the sprite to still taste like it used to.

I don’t really know what that dream was about. 

But today I woke up

And today,

I just feel so alive today..”

Excerpt from IN BLOOD (Theatre)

“…Confession

I: I forget, sometimes. How easy it is to see. It’s easy to see maybe from the way I’m dressed. It’s on my clothes. It’s in my sweat. The hate I’ve carried all these years. For here. And for him. And for cunts like that cop, in suits and ties and for all the pretty things I never got to see. You wanna know what happened at the lake? Tonight? I was waiting for Scotty,  but he never came. 

I’m looking out at the water. It’s quiet. I’m quiet. And then a voice. So long it’s been. 

And I smell old carpets.

I can hear his shit eating grin before I even see him. Standing behind me. So I turn, and I see him. 

And I’m surprised, maybe this is the one I’ve been waiting for. The man I’ve hated all these years, here before me after all this time. And I realise I’ve wanted for this moment for so long. I dreamt about it after all my others had left me, lost to the wind. 

So I turn. And I look at him, and he looks at me. It’s been a long time since the last time, but he isn’t smiling now. He isn’t smiling with that shit eating grin. I can tell he doesn’t quite remember me yet, his eyes darting. 

And I can feel a lump in my throat. And I can feel a weight in my chest. I clench my fist and I’m ready. I know it, I’m ready. 

Then I close my eyes, I look away; one last time, then I look again. And then I see. 

He’s looking up at me. He’s looking up at me. The same way I used to look up at him. 

And I see how old he is now. How much smaller he’s become. Regardless, I raise my fist. I hold it high in the air.

I’m about to lunge, and with fear I see his eyes light up. And for the first time in this long moment, he sees me. He sees me. 

And I feel how old I am. How much smaller I’ve become. 

And then I search for that grin, the grin that’s followed me all these years. The grin that carried me down my path to nowhere, to this, my only moment. But I can’t find it. It isn’t there anymore. 

I pause.

My fist grows heavy, my arm feels numb. And then, the strangest thing. He reaches out, and puts his hand on my shoulder. His skin worn like old paper now. 

“Are you okay?” he asks.  

 And here it was. The fate I waited all this time to meet. 

“I’m not having a good day today” I whisper. 

And finally I drop my fist down on him, with all of its weight. With all of it’s weight, and all of my hate, after all of these years I’ve spent wasting away. 

And it was done. In a moment it was done. The death of him. I’m back. And we’re gone. But I didn’t mean to.

Interrogation Room

He picks himself up. Finally admitting what has happened. He slowly gathers himself and after a ling silence, he speaks. 

I always thought I’d be somebody. I thought I knew who, but.. I don’t know when it was that I stopped thinking about Elvis. I guess that’s the thing about dreams. You can have them, but if you don’t hold them, and let them hold you.. they slip away from you. And the world slowly becomes smaller and smaller, until it’s not a world anymore. It’s just a town. It’s just a tiny desk in a hot library. It’s getting blasted on the weekend, working the factory, until you forget all together what it’s like to have a dream. And even if you try to find it again, you can’t.. it’s passed you now. So you learn to hate the dream, and the kid who dreamt it. 

And then it’s all fine. It’s gone. 

But sometimes you might still catch a glimpse of it. At night, out on the water. You reach out but you can’t reach. And then you ask yourself why you ever let it go…”

Excerpt from 27 at the End (short story)

“..And I look up and I realize what I didn’t see before.
The walls are caving in, just as they are for me, just as they were for him.

Can you see the tree?
Yes
How does it look ?
Tell me how it looks please. Is it like your mothers?

Are the leaves still gold as they were then? Have our names faded into the wood?

Here at the end of everything
I love you more than anything
More than revolution
More than this burnt world and my flickering, fading life. You could’ve changed it all

Brought life to this dead place As you once brought life to me

I thought that here, at the end of everything, at this miracle that finally I’d find you. That in the dark, you’d come to me. Under this tree that’s so like my mothers. That we could carve our names out once more.
And though it’s all gone now, all I want

is for you to take my broken body in your arms and hold me, and hold me. Hold me into that blue, still light that hangs so quiet after the sun goes down…”